Former military Head of State, Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida (IBB), has opened up about his marriage to his late wife, Maryam Babangida, detailing their love story, struggles, and lifelong commitment in his newly released autobiography, ‘A Journey in Service’.
The book, which was launched on Thursday, also featured a fundraiser for Babangida’s presidential library.
OsunDailyNG noted that Babangida narrated that he first met Maryam, formerly Maria Okogwu, in their younger years while living in the unmarried officers’ quarters on Kanta Road, Kaduna.
According to him, he was immediately drawn to her striking beauty and radiant personality, which left a lasting impression.
“She was stunning. Her ebony beauty set off enchanting eyes, and her dazzling smile showed off a lovely set of teeth. When she smiled – and she often smiled – her face lit up, and her eyes danced,” he wrote.
He added that their friendship remained strong despite his frequent military training stints abroad in India and the United Kingdom.
Babangida recounted how his close friend and cousin, Garba Duba, played a crucial role in bringing them together, as he often visited her at Duba’s family home.
He wrote, “Duba’s father was fond of me, so I was mindful that my bonds with the family meant that I had to be more cautious than usual, a factor that synced with my natural shyness. But Maria and I remained close, even as I travelled for military training abroad.”
A Near-Death Experience Sparked His Marriage Decision
The former head of state revealed that a near-death experience at age 28 changed his perspective on life and pushed him to settle down.
After being shot in battle, he was left with a piece of shrapnel lodged in his chest, leading to an extended stay at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) in Idi-Araba, Lagos.
During this time, he began contemplating marriage, believing it was time to start a family and secure his legacy.
“This was the first time I recall seriously thinking it was time to find a wife as a life partner. I was 28, and it seemed to me that it was time to settle down,” Babangida wrote.
He admitted that the lavish wedding of then-Head of State, General Yakubu Gowon, to his wife, Victoria, further reinforced his desire to get married.
Babangida said, “Lying in my hospital bed, I had lots of time to run through the various relationships I had had and try to decide which of them would best stand the test of time. Time and again, Maria Okogwu kept popping into my mind with her ageless beauty and enchanting smile.”
Winning Maryam’s Heart: “She Thought I Wasn’t Husband Material”
After being discharged from the hospital, Babangida wasted no time making his way to Kaduna to propose to Maryam. However, he confessed that she was initially sceptical about his seriousness.
“I wanted to make my intentions known to her and was determined not to accept ‘No’ for an answer,” he revealed.
He admitted that his reputation as a socialite and “man about town” made Maryam doubt his ability to be a committed husband.
The former Head of State said, “She knew that I had a track record of being something of a man about town, and those were not the qualities she wanted in a husband. She was unconvinced of my capacity to be serious, and many people said as much to her.”
It took the intervention of Muhammadu King, Garba Duba’s father, to convince Maryam to accept his proposal.
Maryam’s Conversion To Islam And Commitment To Monogamy
Babangida revealed that his faith played a central role in their relationship, and he asked Maryam to convert from Christianity to Islam before their marriage.
He said, “Praise be to Allah; this was not a difficult decision for Maria. Being part-Christian and part-Muslim at birth and already living in a Muslim household, it was never going to be wholly uncharted territory for her. She adapted with relative ease to married life as a Muslim.”
He also made a personal vow to remain monogamous, citing how polygamy had caused problems in many families.
The retired General said, “I assured her that, though a Muslim, I did not intend to take multiple wives and bring up children from different women. I knew full well that my chances of a stable family life would be significantly improved if I avoided polygamy.”
Babangida and Maryam married on September 6, 1969, and had four children together – Aisha, Muhammad, Aminu, and Halima.
Coping After Maryam’s Death
Maryam passed away from ovarian cancer in a Los Angeles hospital on December 27, 2009, at the age of 61.
Babangida admitted that life without her has been difficult, but he finds solace in their memories of their years together.
He added, “Coping without her has been difficult, but the memories of our life together provide comfort.”
